In case you hadn't noticed . . . I didn't post yesterday. More than likely, you probably don't care so I won't waste my time writing a lame excuse trying to hide the fact that I was just too damn lazy ( even though that's not the case ).
What's more, you get a great benefit from this because you won't be wasting your time reading it. See, us fortywhat?! guys really realize how important time can be. Well, that and food. What most people don't really realize about fortywhat?! guys is that food plays a very special part in our lives. I won't go off on any exercise in rationalization and try to explain how food is better than sex . . . because, well, it isn't - at least from what I remember?
But, when all else fails, food is the best thing that can warm my heart. Everyone has their favorites. The best food is that which satisfies after a bit of gratifying work in the yard. To put this in context, allow me to tell you a little story about a fortywhat?! guy who ignorantly decided to skip lunch yesterday only to be forced to fend for himself.
It's a sad story, but it has a happy ending.
What's more, you get a great benefit from this because you won't be wasting your time reading it. See, us fortywhat?! guys really realize how important time can be. Well, that and food. What most people don't really realize about fortywhat?! guys is that food plays a very special part in our lives. I won't go off on any exercise in rationalization and try to explain how food is better than sex . . . because, well, it isn't - at least from what I remember?
But, when all else fails, food is the best thing that can warm my heart. Everyone has their favorites. The best food is that which satisfies after a bit of gratifying work in the yard. To put this in context, allow me to tell you a little story about a fortywhat?! guy who ignorantly decided to skip lunch yesterday only to be forced to fend for himself.
It's a sad story, but it has a happy ending.
Jim's son, being a sixth grader and eligible to receive all privileges of a sixth grader in good standing, will embark on a field trip to Kansas City to partake in all the enjoyment at Science City. However, Jim would normally take the kids to the bus stop at 8:00, the sixth graders will need to leave from school between 7 and 7:15. So, on Thursday morning Jim drags his children from bed so they can get ready and going to meet the deadline.
Having successfully done that, he decides that he and his daughter should go have breakfast since it's only 7:30 and her bus won't arrive until around 8:00. The two drop into McDonalds and eat their breakfast and make silly jokes about the people sitting around them. The best laugh ensues as they spot a guy in the drive through line either busily talking to himself or someone on the phone with one of those stupid-looking, bluetooth ear-piece thingys.
The rest of the day goes pretty normal until Jim realizes he's forgotten to bring lunch. Although he has a bag of popcorn, it just doesn't seem to be what he's hungry for. He decides he'll wait till later. After he picks the kids up from school he really doesn't have anything on the agenda - no soccer practices, no bmx, no games - he decides that he'll change the oil and spark plug in the mower ( a task he's put off for too long ) and mow the lawn. After all, the lawn in the backyard is getting tall enough to harbor several refugee families if they chose to squat there. We can't have that.
Although a few small pangs of hunger spring up in his after-lunch meetings, Jim dismisses them. After all, his fortitude will be rewarded later as he relishes the culinary delight that is SUPPER. What's more, his taste buds will explode having been delayed gratification and forced to toil under the labor of mowing the yard.
Later, as Jim's son finally arrives from his sixth grade expedition, he asks Dad, "Can I go over to a friend's house." Dad grimaces slightly. He likes these things planned out - if just a little - like a day ahead.
"Do your friend's parents know about this?" Dad asks.
"Well, I'm supposed to call him when I get home."
"If his parents say it's ok, then I guess it's not a problem," Dad says.
"So how was Science City?" Dad asks as he and his kids continue talking and walk to the Jeep.
Once home, Jim asks his wife if she'll cook supper while he takes care of the mower and finishes up the lawn. See, they usually take turns (although she generally gets the better end of the bargain) and the kids help out by taking turns with either mom or dad on their night. She doesn't mind so Jim heads out to the garage. He has a nice tall glass of cool water which rolls down his throat and coats his stomach like a rush of cold, arctic wind.
Jim's son rushes into the garage, "Can you take me over to his house now?" his son asks. "What time will you be coming home?" Jim asks, knowing full well that this probably hasn't been discussed yet.
"Let me ask," his son responds, chattering away into his cell phone. " . . . eight o'clock," his son finally answers.
"All right, let's get going so I can get this lawn done. Your sister has her flute lessons tonight so I'm kind of pressed for time."
Jim unplugs the spark plug and positions the oil pan under the mower. Propping the mower onto it's side, the sooty, black oil begins to snake out the oil and into the oil pan. They jump into the Jeep and head out. On the way they talk about cars and gyroscopes and how much they overcharged for stuff at Science City. Evidently his friend bought a gyroscope at Science City for eight dollars and the thing started falling apart on the way back.
"What a rip-off," Jim's son says, shaking his head.
Once back, Jim puts the lawn mower back on all four wheels and refills the oil and changes the spark plug. Since it's almost 5 pm he decides he'll do the lubrication stuff next time so he can get started. His stomach rumbles and Jim starts wondering what his wife and daughter are making for supper. Plowing through the hip-deep grass ( ok - it wasn't hip deep - but it was taller than my ankles ) Jim decides that he's going to have to adjust the height of the mower all the way up. The long grass pulled on the engine, forcing it work harder and harder, and ultimately drowning out the rumbles from Jim's stomach which began to come in waves of increasing frequency.
Jim found that the backyard was going to take much longer than he expected because he would have to take smaller bites each time he went around the yard. But it would pay off in the end, Jim rationalized.
By the time I get done with the backyard, supper will be ready. A nice big roast beef sandwich sounds good. Thin, tender slices of red meat sandwiched between swiss cheese, Miracle Whip, and brown mustard on white bread.
He could taste it already. His mouth dried by the grit and dirt kicked up from a long winter was now bathed in anticipation.
"Don't stop Jim, just get the job done and it'll be all the better," reminded the voice of due diligence and patient determination.
At last the backyard was done. Jim scratched his head and decided that since he had the mower out, and the front yard was a piece of cake . . . chocolate cake with ice cream on the side . . . and hot fudge ( especially since his son had mowed it last week ) that he might as well get it done as well. But first, he thought, how's about I pop my head in the back door and see what they're making for supper.
His mind floated back to the roast beef sandwich as he opened the back door. Poking his head in, disappointment replaced optimistic anticipation. Where he expected the glorious aroma of food on the stove, there was nothing. "Well, maybe she's making something that cooks real fast," he reminded himself. "I'll just go do the front yard and then she'll probably put it on. That's it. She's probably waiting for me to start in the front yard."
He moved the garbage cans out of the way and quickly knocked out the front yard after re-adjusting the wheels and lowering the lawn mower for the grass height in the front yard. Dandelions had poked their heads up and flourished in the easement this year. The stems could be heard popping against the underside of the mower like popcorn faintly popping somewhere . . .
with extra butter and salt.
He pushed the thought of popcorn out of his mind. Roast beef sandwiches were on the menu. Jim finished the mowing and scraped the grass from the underside of the mower. He expected it to be caked on since the grass in the backyard was so long, but it wasn't. Putting the mower away, he relished the thought of what might await him when he walked inside and changed his shoes.
As much as I'd like to tell you that he went inside and sat down to a wonderful supper of roast beef sandwiches . . . I can't.
"What'd you make?" he asked his wife.
"Well, our daughter said she wasn't hungry and I'm not hungry. Since our son is at his friend's house, I figured I wouldn't make anything."
"Oh," Jim said, not quite sure what to say, disappointment replacing enthusiasm.
He re-filled his glass of water and strode into the living room.
"It's not all a loss. I finished by seven so I can watch My Name is Earl," he proclaimed, flopping into the recliner. "I'll just take a break and then make my own damn supper."
Then it hit him. His daughter's flute lesson was at 7:30. He wouldn't even be able to watch all of Earl. And then, when her lesson was done, he'd need to go pick up his son. I'll starve to death by then!! He drove past Spangles and Jade Garden and Arby's ( ooh, Roast Beef ) and McDonalds ultimately arriving home with both kids. His son, reminded his dad that in addition to any already scheduled events, the evening now included a screening of the dvd Eragon that arrived in the mail yesterday.
"You can watch whatever you want since there's no school tomorrow," Dad said, pulling into the driveway. "All I care about right now is finding food. If I don't get it soon I will eat my offspring," he said, making his bestest, fiercest, hungry dad face. His son chuckled and rolled his eyes and his daughter smiled.
"So what are you going to cook, Dad?" his daughter asked.
"What?" he responded, a little impatient.
"I'm hungry," she said, her I-would-like-to-be-waited-on-hand-and-foot smile spreading across her face.
Mom strolled into the kitchen close behind. The same smile slyly spreading across her face as well.
"I'm not cooking anything," Jim said as he gathered food from the refrigerator. "You guys decided you weren't hungry hours ago and decided that I wasn't hungry either."
He opened two fresh bags of salad lettuce and tossed them into a tupperware container.
"I've had two tall glasses of water since I got home and it's going on 8:45. You want something to eat you can do exactly what I'm doing now." he said, placing a handful of lettuce on a plate. Daughter and wife looked at each other.
Then they looked at Jim who busily created his Dagwood salad. Without further discussion they made themselves a sandwich and salad. Jim carried his salad and roast beef sandwich out to the living room and plopped down to watch Eragon. After finishing them he reclined in his lazyboy feeling gratified with new nourishment flowing through his veins.
Having successfully done that, he decides that he and his daughter should go have breakfast since it's only 7:30 and her bus won't arrive until around 8:00. The two drop into McDonalds and eat their breakfast and make silly jokes about the people sitting around them. The best laugh ensues as they spot a guy in the drive through line either busily talking to himself or someone on the phone with one of those stupid-looking, bluetooth ear-piece thingys.
The rest of the day goes pretty normal until Jim realizes he's forgotten to bring lunch. Although he has a bag of popcorn, it just doesn't seem to be what he's hungry for. He decides he'll wait till later. After he picks the kids up from school he really doesn't have anything on the agenda - no soccer practices, no bmx, no games - he decides that he'll change the oil and spark plug in the mower ( a task he's put off for too long ) and mow the lawn. After all, the lawn in the backyard is getting tall enough to harbor several refugee families if they chose to squat there. We can't have that.
Although a few small pangs of hunger spring up in his after-lunch meetings, Jim dismisses them. After all, his fortitude will be rewarded later as he relishes the culinary delight that is SUPPER. What's more, his taste buds will explode having been delayed gratification and forced to toil under the labor of mowing the yard.
Later, as Jim's son finally arrives from his sixth grade expedition, he asks Dad, "Can I go over to a friend's house." Dad grimaces slightly. He likes these things planned out - if just a little - like a day ahead.
"Do your friend's parents know about this?" Dad asks.
"Well, I'm supposed to call him when I get home."
"If his parents say it's ok, then I guess it's not a problem," Dad says.
"So how was Science City?" Dad asks as he and his kids continue talking and walk to the Jeep.
Once home, Jim asks his wife if she'll cook supper while he takes care of the mower and finishes up the lawn. See, they usually take turns (although she generally gets the better end of the bargain) and the kids help out by taking turns with either mom or dad on their night. She doesn't mind so Jim heads out to the garage. He has a nice tall glass of cool water which rolls down his throat and coats his stomach like a rush of cold, arctic wind.
Jim's son rushes into the garage, "Can you take me over to his house now?" his son asks. "What time will you be coming home?" Jim asks, knowing full well that this probably hasn't been discussed yet.
"Let me ask," his son responds, chattering away into his cell phone. " . . . eight o'clock," his son finally answers.
"All right, let's get going so I can get this lawn done. Your sister has her flute lessons tonight so I'm kind of pressed for time."
Jim unplugs the spark plug and positions the oil pan under the mower. Propping the mower onto it's side, the sooty, black oil begins to snake out the oil and into the oil pan. They jump into the Jeep and head out. On the way they talk about cars and gyroscopes and how much they overcharged for stuff at Science City. Evidently his friend bought a gyroscope at Science City for eight dollars and the thing started falling apart on the way back.
"What a rip-off," Jim's son says, shaking his head.
Once back, Jim puts the lawn mower back on all four wheels and refills the oil and changes the spark plug. Since it's almost 5 pm he decides he'll do the lubrication stuff next time so he can get started. His stomach rumbles and Jim starts wondering what his wife and daughter are making for supper. Plowing through the hip-deep grass ( ok - it wasn't hip deep - but it was taller than my ankles ) Jim decides that he's going to have to adjust the height of the mower all the way up. The long grass pulled on the engine, forcing it work harder and harder, and ultimately drowning out the rumbles from Jim's stomach which began to come in waves of increasing frequency.
Jim found that the backyard was going to take much longer than he expected because he would have to take smaller bites each time he went around the yard. But it would pay off in the end, Jim rationalized.
By the time I get done with the backyard, supper will be ready. A nice big roast beef sandwich sounds good. Thin, tender slices of red meat sandwiched between swiss cheese, Miracle Whip, and brown mustard on white bread.
He could taste it already. His mouth dried by the grit and dirt kicked up from a long winter was now bathed in anticipation.
"Don't stop Jim, just get the job done and it'll be all the better," reminded the voice of due diligence and patient determination.
At last the backyard was done. Jim scratched his head and decided that since he had the mower out, and the front yard was a piece of cake . . . chocolate cake with ice cream on the side . . . and hot fudge ( especially since his son had mowed it last week ) that he might as well get it done as well. But first, he thought, how's about I pop my head in the back door and see what they're making for supper.
His mind floated back to the roast beef sandwich as he opened the back door. Poking his head in, disappointment replaced optimistic anticipation. Where he expected the glorious aroma of food on the stove, there was nothing. "Well, maybe she's making something that cooks real fast," he reminded himself. "I'll just go do the front yard and then she'll probably put it on. That's it. She's probably waiting for me to start in the front yard."
He moved the garbage cans out of the way and quickly knocked out the front yard after re-adjusting the wheels and lowering the lawn mower for the grass height in the front yard. Dandelions had poked their heads up and flourished in the easement this year. The stems could be heard popping against the underside of the mower like popcorn faintly popping somewhere . . .
with extra butter and salt.
He pushed the thought of popcorn out of his mind. Roast beef sandwiches were on the menu. Jim finished the mowing and scraped the grass from the underside of the mower. He expected it to be caked on since the grass in the backyard was so long, but it wasn't. Putting the mower away, he relished the thought of what might await him when he walked inside and changed his shoes.
As much as I'd like to tell you that he went inside and sat down to a wonderful supper of roast beef sandwiches . . . I can't.
"What'd you make?" he asked his wife.
"Well, our daughter said she wasn't hungry and I'm not hungry. Since our son is at his friend's house, I figured I wouldn't make anything."
"Oh," Jim said, not quite sure what to say, disappointment replacing enthusiasm.
He re-filled his glass of water and strode into the living room.
"It's not all a loss. I finished by seven so I can watch My Name is Earl," he proclaimed, flopping into the recliner. "I'll just take a break and then make my own damn supper."
Then it hit him. His daughter's flute lesson was at 7:30. He wouldn't even be able to watch all of Earl. And then, when her lesson was done, he'd need to go pick up his son. I'll starve to death by then!! He drove past Spangles and Jade Garden and Arby's ( ooh, Roast Beef ) and McDonalds ultimately arriving home with both kids. His son, reminded his dad that in addition to any already scheduled events, the evening now included a screening of the dvd Eragon that arrived in the mail yesterday.
"You can watch whatever you want since there's no school tomorrow," Dad said, pulling into the driveway. "All I care about right now is finding food. If I don't get it soon I will eat my offspring," he said, making his bestest, fiercest, hungry dad face. His son chuckled and rolled his eyes and his daughter smiled.
"So what are you going to cook, Dad?" his daughter asked.
"What?" he responded, a little impatient.
"I'm hungry," she said, her I-would-like-to-be-waited-on-hand-and-foot smile spreading across her face.
Mom strolled into the kitchen close behind. The same smile slyly spreading across her face as well.
"I'm not cooking anything," Jim said as he gathered food from the refrigerator. "You guys decided you weren't hungry hours ago and decided that I wasn't hungry either."
He opened two fresh bags of salad lettuce and tossed them into a tupperware container.
"I've had two tall glasses of water since I got home and it's going on 8:45. You want something to eat you can do exactly what I'm doing now." he said, placing a handful of lettuce on a plate. Daughter and wife looked at each other.
Then they looked at Jim who busily created his Dagwood salad. Without further discussion they made themselves a sandwich and salad. Jim carried his salad and roast beef sandwich out to the living room and plopped down to watch Eragon. After finishing them he reclined in his lazyboy feeling gratified with new nourishment flowing through his veins.
Way to go Jim! Now I'm hungry and envious of your freshly shorn lawn. I tend toward the over cooking and after working all day, coming home, cleaning up and cooking supper - to hear my husband say "I'm not hungry." makes me insane - on the same note, to have him devour two plates of my carefully prepared meals makes me a very happy lady.
Hehehe...I did notice you didn't post yesterday...I stop by everyday:D
M.
LOL.... I was totally thinking of you doing all that yardwork with the Arby's hat floating above your head, then you mentioned Arby's. Ha!
Mmm... Arby's Beef n Cheddar sounds fab, but it's too late and bedtime. Perhaps tomorrow.